Daycare / nursery adaptation is tough, not only on the baby, but also on the parents. You worry about how their doing every second of the day. You feel guilty every morning you drop them off and they hold their hands out to you and like you don’t want to let go of them when you pick them up at night.
I’ve been there: sitting in the car after drop-off, crying my eyes out while wondering if I did the right thing. If that’s you right now, let me tell you — you’re not alone but it does get easier.
Here are some simple, practical tips that helped me (and so many other mums I’ve spoken to) get through those first weeks:
1. Expect Tears (and that’s okay) 😢
It’s completely normal for your baby to cry when you leave — and for you to cry too. Separation is a big deal. Remind yourself: crying is part of the process, not a sign you made the wrong choice.
Most of the time, once you’ve left and they start to engage with their carers and the other children around, they start to forget.
2. Keep Goodbyes Short & Sweet 🙋♂️
The longer we hover, the harder it is and the more they cry. Try a simple: “Mummy loves you, have a lovely day, I’ll be back soon.” Then hand over, smile (even if you’re breaking inside), and go.
A consistent goodbye routine helps your child feel secure and if they see you crying or feel you hurting, it will only worry them more. I know it’s hard, but it will get better..❤️🩹
3. Bring a Comfort Item 🧸
A favourite blanket, a small toy, or even a T-shirt that smells like you can work wonders. It’s like sending a piece of home with them.
Gabriel was in love with his little panda bear, so we asked his teacher if we can bring it in. It provided him comfort in moments when he felt distressed.
4. Use the Nursery’s Support 👩🏫
Good carers expect tears — they’re trained for this. Ask them how your child is settling once you’ve left. Often, they’ll say your little one stopped crying within minutes (which is so reassuring!).
I am sure that you did a very thorough check on the daycare before placing your little one there, so trust the selection you made, because you know it was a good one. ☺️
5. Don’t Rush the Adaptation 🏊♀️
Every child is different. Some settle in a week, others take a month. If your nursery offers a gentle start (like shorter hours at first), take advantage of it. It’s not about speed — it’s about your child feeling safe.
6. Create a “Hello Again” Routine 🥰
Just like goodbye, make pick-up special and predictable. A big smile, a hug, and maybe a little ritual (singing a song, having a snack together on the way home). This helps your child know that you always come back and will help them feel safer.
7. Look After You, Too 🪷
This part gets forgotten, but it matters. After drop-off, give yourself something small to look forward to — a coffee, a walk, calling a friend. Caring for yourself helps you cope better with the emotions.
no, you are not a bad mum, you are an amazing mum doing everything she can with the resources she has.
8. Celebrate the Wins 🥳
Notice the little things: the first day your child doesn’t cry as much, the first time they run to a carer happily, the first artwork they bring home. These moments are proof that they’re adjusting, and so are you.
💭 Final Thought
Starting nursery is a huge milestone — it means your little one is growing, learning, and becoming more independent (even if we wish they could stay small forever). The tears, the guilt, the heartache… they’re all part of the journey.
And one day soon, you’ll find yourself standing at the nursery door, watching your child wave goodbye without looking back, and realise: we made it. 🌸