One of the most humbling lessons I’ve learned as a mum is this: our children feel us. Even before they can understand our language, even before they’re born — they just know.
I remember during my pregnancy, I could sense my baby’s reactions whenever I felt scared or stressed. One of the most vivid memories I have is from a time I went walking in our new neighbourhood. It’s a quiet area outside Lisbon, but it’s also filled with guard dogs that bark loudly as you walk by. I’ve always had a fear of dogs after being bitten as a child, and during those walks, when a dog would suddenly bark, I would tense up — and so would my baby. I could feel him clench inside me, as if he was mirroring my anxiety. It would take me a few minutes of rubbing my belly, gently soothing him, to calm both of us down.😌
That moment really stuck with me — because it reminded me just how connected our little ones are to our emotions.
Now that my son is a toddler, I see this all the time. Even when we try to hide stress or tension from him, he senses it. If my husband and I have a disagreement or even a quiet, tense morning, our son notices. He gets more sensitive, more clingy. Drop-offs at creche become harder. His emotions simply mirror ours. 🪞
And it’s not just the small moments. When we were in the process of moving houses — a time full of stress, uncertainty, and decisions which lasted around 6 months — he felt that too. Kids don’t always have the words to explain what’s wrong, but they express it in their behaviour, their sleep, their need for comfort.
So, what can we do?
Here’s what I’ve learned (and am still learning):
💬 Talk to them — simply and honestly.
You don’t have to share every detail, but it helps to say, “Mummy is feeling a little sad or tired today.” When we acknowledge our emotions, we teach them that it’s okay to feel — and it builds trust.
👂 Listen when they open up.
If they’re upset, don’t rush to fix it or say, “It’ll be okay.” Just sit with them. Let them express what they feel. Help them name it: “Are you feeling worried? Sad? Confused?” That in itself is comforting and will make them feel heard.
🧡 Be present.
Even if life is messy, even if your energy is low — a cuddle, a shared story, a quiet moment together makes a world of difference.
🌱 Let them see that hard times happen — and that you get through them.
Life isn’t perfect, and we don’t need to make it seem as though it is. What they need from us is to know that even when things are tough, love is still here. Stability is still here. You are still here.
Being a mum doesn’t mean being perfect. It means being real, being loving, and being there — especially when things are tough. And in those moments, our children don’t need us to be superheroes. They just need us to be honest, soft, and close. 🤗
Let’s raise kids who trust their instincts, who aren’t afraid of emotions, and who know that even when things feel hard — they are safe, seen, and loved.🥰